Booze had its claws firmly in me and I could not escape. I could manage to not drink for a day or two before binging hard, like I was making up for lost time, and subsequently feeling like trash for the next two days.
I would sit around on pinterest reading sobriety blogs (like this one) wishing that I could climb my way of out the hole I had drunk myself into.
I knew moderation would never work for me, having “just 1 drink” wouldn’t be the end of it. I had to quit for good, permanently and forever, but those are big scary words.
So, I made a plan. Quitting alcohol forever was going to be a huge undertaking.
I got into the proper mindset of sobriety by reading blogs and books. I settled in to feeling temporarily sad and anxious. I embraced the suck that is early sobriety.
I argued with myself, constantly talking myself out of having a drink. Eventually the screaming in my head for a drink quieted to a whisper that could be easily ignored and now, 3 years later, I no longer have that voice.
The constant battle of staying sober in the beginning was overwhelming. You need to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. You need to know what to expect.
You need a plan. How are you going to cope with yourself? How are you going to fill your time now that you aren’t spending it either drunk or hungover? Boredom is a huge trigger! How are you going to manage anxiety in early sobriety (a common withdrawal symptom)? How are you going to handle social situations? Another trigger!
Take it one day at a time, remember that your ONLY goal is to get to bed THAT DAY without drinking.
Sobriety is all day, every day, but only for that day. Otherwise it’s too much pressure and you might crack.
The Plan
1. Therapy
You’ve been drowning your emotions in booze for who knows how long and now you have to face them, sober, in the harsh light of reality. You need to develop healthy ways of coping. It will help keep you accountable.
Having said that, as it turns out, therapy just isn’t for me. I’m uncomfortable spilling my guts to a stranger and have never been great at sharing my feelings. It’s also been difficult for me to get access to therapy/counseling due to financial strain or scheduling availability on their part or lack of time on mine, or not having childcare options.
If therapy isn’t your cup of tea, you need to develop healthy coping skills on your own. Check out my sobriety toolbox, full of helpful coping strategies. I am not a therapist, what worked for me may not work for you.
Go To Meetings or Find a Support Group
Find like-minded individuals to interact with. Go to sober meet ups, AA meetings, zoom meetings, join sober groups on social media!
2. Quit Lit
The key to recovery is knowing what to expect when you give up alcohol. You need to be mentally prepared for what is to come, to expect ups and downs, and to know exactly how you’re going to deal with it so you aren’t caught off guard. Blogs, books, podcasts, Reddit, Pinterest – these are all amazing resources to gather information. Read/listen to something every. single. day. to stay motivated and on track.
I had read that the first couple weeks of going without alcohol you may experience anxiety. To combat this I told myself that if I felt anxious I would take a hot shower because that always helps me. This plan of action saved me from what turned out to be really bad anxiety and outright panic. If you want to know more about what to expect in early sobriety check out this post.
3. Track your progress
I use the EasyQuit apps for both drinking and smoking. These apps are amazing. It is so satisfying to see how much progress you’ve made! It tracks health benefits, how many drinks you’ve avoided, how much money you’ve saved. There are helpful tips and a cool memory game to help you beat an urge.
4.Triggers
Figure out what your triggers are and either find ways to avoid them or cope with them. I’ve already mentioned a couple of mine, like boredom or social situations. 5pm on a Friday was another big trigger for me, and it can’t be avoided, so I found different ways to unwind after a stressful week. Celebrations are also big triggers, now I treat myself to cake and ice cream, which as it turns out, is way more satisfying than alcohol. Hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness are also common triggers. Your environment can also trigger you to crave alcohol, like bars or sporting events. Write your triggers down as you encounter them, take a deep breath and think of a better way. Having a plan in place in early sobriety will help you overcome your cravings and before long it just becomes your new healthy habit. Check out my list of triggers and how I dealt with them here. This isn’t about quitting or depriving ourselves, its simply replacing a bad habit with something better. You need to find something to fill the void that quitting booze leaves behind.
5. Self Care
Overcoming our addictions is the greatest form of self-care, but self-improvement is hard. Be extra kind to yourself these first few weeks. Soak in the tub, drink hot chocolate, eat cookies, binge some shows, go for a walk, get at least 8 hours of sleep every night.
6. Snacks & Sweets
This is the time to indulge a little. Celebrate every day of not drinking. Don’t completely replace drinking with junk food though, that’s obviously not healthy. In my first month of sobriety, we had a dessert most nights with dinner. This is no time to diet. I felt like I had a good enough grasp on sobriety after a month to cut back on my sugar intake.
7. Drinks
Not drinking alcohol opens up a whole world of DRINKS! Fizzy water (I love bubbles), juice, herbal tea, hot chocolate, even nonalcoholic beer and delicious mocktails!
8. Lean on your family/friends
If you haven’t damaged personal relationships with your drinking you’re lucky. Or maybe you have and you just haven’t realized it yet. Take this time to LOVE and lean on the support of your friends and family. Do something special for someone.
9. Meditation/Mindfulness
Drinking can be a powerful off switch, a way to quiet the mind and force ourselves to rest. Let’s find a better way to do that. Sobriety is about getting to know yourself again, the real you. Explore your mind and find things that work and bring comfort. I still can’t seem to make myself meditate so I’ve found success in activities that promote mindfulness, allowing yourself to focus fully on a task at hand. Coloring, read a good book, journaling, and crochet are all great ways to reach a state of mindfulness.
10. Journal
Writing is incredibly therapeutic. Try a gratitude journal to give yourself a mood boost and to remind yourself of all the good in your life. Gratitude is the answer to battling depression and anxiety in early sobriety. Every day jot down a few quick things that you were grateful for that day.
Document your journey, what you’re going through and feeling, what has helped you and what hasn’t so you can avoid it in the future. Write everything down and maybe one day consider sharing what worked for you. We can help each other.
11. Be Beautiful
Sober IS beautiful!! Drinking takes a massive toll on your physical appearance, on your skin, and hair. After a month of not drinking, you will notice a huge difference in your skin and after 9 months your hair. Now that you aren’t consuming tons of extra calories in alcohol you may lose weight. When you drink your body burns that before carbs & sugar which inevitably ends up as fat on our bodies.
12. Cleaning & Organizing
My house has never been cleaner or more organized since going alcohol-free. I’ve always enjoyed the instant gratification of cleaning and organizing and now, desperately needing some distraction from the screaming in my head for a drink, have found it so therapeutic to purge my house of useless clutter, a little clean up after the neglect it has endured during my drinking. I felt like the improvements I was making within myself were moving outwards into my environment. It’s important to keep busy, keep your mind on other things. You don’t have to do a huge undertaking, just pick one small area to work on every day.
13. Exercise
Explore outdoors, try a workout video, sign up for a yoga class. Find something that interests you and stick with it. Set fitness goals and consistently work towards them. Exercise is good for your mental health, it’s a great way to cope with stress and anxiety.
14. Hobbies
This is the time to rediscover yourself and what you like to do. Alcohol has robbed us of so much time, held us back from our full potential and dulls our interests. When I quit drinking I rediscovered my passion and motivation. Thanks to sobriety I have cultivated so my fun hobbies. I keep several aquariums, I paint, I write, and I am constantly thinking of things that I want to get into that wouldn’t have ever crossed my mind without sobriety. Having something that you love and enjoy tinkering with is a wonderful outlet for sobriety. What passions have you discovered on your sobriety journey?